This is a song written by Busker Alan, performed by Greg, called Pub Policy.
Well, you may call me a traveller because travelling is what I do
There are many reasons for this but here’s one I’ll share with you
Now, I’m quite fond of me bevvy, and I’m quite fond of me grub
But I’m searching and desperation because I just can’t find a pub
Where they don’t say…
[Chorus:] You can’t bring your dogs in ere mate
No you can’t take your dogs in ere
because your hair’s too long and you’re dressed all wrong
and you can’t bring your dogs in here.
From Penzance up to John O’Groats the story’s just the same
If they don’t like the look of you, your dogs will get the blame
And if you’re not wearing chinos or they think that you might shout
Before you get your head round the door, they started to kick you out
Because you can’t bring your dogs in here mate
No you can’t take your dogs in ere
You’ve got rings in your nose and holes in your clothes
And you can’t bring your dogs in ere.
Now, I am not a racist and I’m not anti-queer
And I don’t want to shag your daughter, I just want a pint of beer
And I won’t make you lose your license and I won’t start a fight.
And if you take the time to talk to me, you’ll find that I’m all right.
Still, you can’t bring your dogs in here mate
No you can’t bring your dogs in ere
Coz you look a bit drunk and we don’t serve punks
And you can’t bring your dogs in ere.
Now look mate I’m the landlord, now please don’t get me wrong
I’m not trying to be funny and I appreciate your song.
Well, I guess that I’ll be off then, but there’s one thing I must say
I’ve been trying to get served since Christmas and now it’s fucking May!
Still, you can’t bring your dogs in here mate
No you can’t bring your dogs in ere
Coz you look a bit drunk and we don’t serve punks
And you can’t bring your dogs in ere.
So piss off!